


Love Bites from Love Mites

by gingergallifreyan



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Sex Pollen, allergies to sex pollen, but it's not non! or dub!con, but lots of talking about it, lab work but no needles, no explicit sex, rose is in her right mind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 15:31:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16746649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingergallifreyan/pseuds/gingergallifreyan
Summary: Really, it was supposed to be a simple romantic picnic on an alien planet in fields of jasmine. But when is a romantic picnic on an alien plant ever simple with the Doctor and Rose?





	Love Bites from Love Mites

**Author's Note:**

> Based on two [tumblr](http://gingergallifreyan.tumblr.com/post/180467921700/theticklishpear-nanowrimo-day-twenty-four) [posts](http://chiaroscuroverse.tumblr.com/post/180451299039/new-variation-on-healing-cock-trope).
> 
> I'm sorry for any science I got wrong.

Really, it was supposed to be a simple romantic picnic on an alien planet in fields of jasmine. But when is a romantic picnic on an alien plant ever simple with the Doctor and Rose?

“It’s lovely,” he said. “It’s not jasmine like on your planet. Here, they glow at night. Bioluminescent jasmine! And the scent isn’t terribly strong, not too overpowering. Just enough to set the mood.”

“So get there as the sun goes down and stay for the show?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe get cozy?”

“Not a maybe. Definitely.”

“Sounds lovely.” She rose on her toes to kiss his cheek.

Rose carried the blanket and he carried the basket. The Doctor laid his head in her lap and she fed him grapes; he may have 'accidentally' caught her finger in his mouth a time or two. Then the sun set and they ambled through the jasmine fields. The flowers gave off a lovely purple glow, enough to light their way as they walked.

“Doctor—” She paused to sneeze twice.

“Alright?” He touched her elbow.

She blinked. “Yeah. I meant to say that patch over there, it’s not glowing.”

“You’re right. Let’s have a look.” The Doctor crouched next to Rose and scanned the flowers with the sonic. “No negative readings. But there’s definitely… hold on… something active. Let me scan again.”

“I could always just shake it or something.”

He tapped the sonic in his palm and tried again. “It’s not technology, Rose. It wouldn't be bioluminescent then.”

“I know. At any rate, I do love the smell.” She cupped a blossom and sniffed. And then she sneezed. And then she sneezed again, and again. “Oh, god.” Again.

“Rose?” He touched her shoulder.

She swiped at her face. “Doctor!”

He lifted her chin, his jaw dropping at her watery, swollen eyes. “Oh. This is… oh, this is bad. We need to get you back to the TARDIS.”

“What is it?” She sniffed.

“Allergic reaction. I’ll have some antihistamines in the med bay. Come on, quick as you like, chop chop.” He pulled her up by her arm.

She froze and stared at him.

“Rose, you alright?”

She shook her head. “Yeah, fine, let’s go.” She went through another round of sneezing. Eventually, she wrenched her arm from him.

“Rose?”

“’m fine.”

“Can you see with your eyelids so swollen? I was only trying to help.”

“I’m fine, thanks! Are we close?”

“Just a few minutes.”

They continued until she stumbled over her foot.

“Rose!” He caught her. His hearts sank at her struggling. He should have known this would happen. “You are most definitely not fine, even with your allergies. Please, tell me what’s wrong?”

“I feel miserable, but I’m so… bloody aroused. And it’s worse when you touch me. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Oh.” His eyebrows shot up. “Oh, that’s what it was. An aphrodisiac.”

“You mean… like the sex pollen in those trashy alien romance novels Jack introduced me to because I needed some help? Y’know, when you were a monk before I found you wanking in the library?”

He chuckled. “One and the same. Well, maybe not exactly like the sex pollen in your books. I’ll have to run some tests in the TARDIS. And there was something else in that jasmine patch. I couldn’t quite sort it with the sonic before you sniffed that flower. Tell you what, I can carry you faster than you can move at the moment. I’m sorry this will be harder for you.” He picked her up bridal style, and the delicious scent of _her_ hit him full force at that angle. If only she wasn’t ill, he’d’ve taken her right there in the grass. “Any trouble breathing? No anaphylaxis?”

“I can still breathe, yeah. No anaph—” She sneezed again. “You smell good. I can smell it even through my stuffy nose.”

“Trick of the pollen. You’re just thinking of my smell. Let me know if you feel your airway closing.”

“Your voice sounds like melted chocolate.” She played with his hair.

“This would be incredibly awkward if this happened before we got together.”

“Why?”

“With some aphrodisiacs, your body can eventually metabolize them, like the ones on Earth. You’d just wait it out. What I don’t know is if this is that kind of aphrodisiac where I can give you some medicine and you sleep it off, or if I have to help in more… ehm, deliberate ways.”

“You can only be rid of it with sex?”

“Some types, yes. And if we weren’t already shagging, well… I’d feel awful if our first time was for reasons other than simply the joy of being intimate with you. Tell me, were you averse to me touching you a moment ago because something’s wrong and you haven’t told me?”

“No, just because it was weird. I didn’t like how it was so strong all of a sudden, almost like it wasn’t from me.” She sniffled. “Though I’m always down to get stuffed, and I was hoping for it later anyway. Now it just feels like normal, but more intense.” She shifted her legs in his grip.

“So nothing’s wrong, just to clarify?”

“No. You’re the boyfriend of my dreams.”

He kissed her cheek. “Good. That will make things easier.”

“I really want to kiss you.”

“Me, too, believe me. Just a moment more, Rose, over this hill.”

“I want to kiss your neck.”

“I’d like that.”

“And your chest. I love your chest hair.”

“Good to know.”

“And I want to swirl my tongue around your belly button. How do you even have a belly button? You weren’t born, you said? Weaved, or something like that.” She brushed his cheek with her nose and sneezed again.

“Loomed. And it’s one of the universe’s greatest mysteries.”

“And even this body was regenerated.”

“I love when you talk Time Lord.”

“I love when you talk dirty.” She nibbled his ear.

“Not feeling any better, are you?” Lucky for him, the TARDIS was in sight at the bottom of the hill.

“If I wasn’t allergic this might be nice. We should do this again sometime, without me being allergic.”

“Yeah? I can find plenty of aphrodisiacs around the galaxy, ones you won’t react to like this.”

“It’d be nice to mix things up once in a while.”

“Too right. I’m going to set you down, Rose, so I can get the door. Then it’s straight to the med bay with you.”

“Not the jump seat? I like the jump seat. It’s the perfect height to—”

He picked her up again. “I promise after I get you better we’ll have a good romp.”

“Promise?”

“Yes, though you might sleep first. Oh, thank Rassilon the TARDIS put the med bay closer.” It was, in fact, the first room off the corridor. “Lie on this bed.” He deposited her on a gurney.

“I want you to lie with me.”

He typed furiously on a computer. “I want to make sure you’re alright first. I’m really sorry, but I’ll have to take a sample of mucus.”

“How?”

“I’ll have to swab inside your nose. The TARDIS needs it so she can analyze the pollen and whatever else might be in your system.” He went to a cabinet and pulled out a swab kit. He curled a finger under her chin to draw her head off the pillow. “Just focus on me, alright? This will be a little uncomfortable.” He met her eyes and his hearts nearly stopped at the look of adoration he found there. Gods, he loved this woman, and that feeling didn’t disappear when her eyes squeezed shut and she sneezed in his face as he finished swabbing.

“Sorry!” She sniffled.

He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his face. “Doesn’t bother me. It means your body is working properly. Here.” He handed the cloth to her and swished the swab in a phial.

“What’s that for?” She blew her nose.

“Diluting it so the mass spectrometer can read it.” He capped the tube and placed it in the machine. “It’ll take a moment to spin out.”

Rose curled onto her side.

“I’m sorry you feel miserable.”

“Can you give me anything?” She covered her eyes and sniffed.

The med bay lights dimmed, and he sent up a silent thanks. “Not til I know what it is. I can get you a warm blanket.”

“Ta.”

He fetched the covering from another cabinet and spread it over her. “I’d hold your hand but I don’t want to make it worse.”

“’S’fine.”

He planted himself on a stool next to the bed and stared at the monitor until it beeped. A 3D hologram appeared, and he studied the surrounding Gallifreyan script.  “Oh, that’s… brilliant, if a bit invasive.”

“What is it?”

“This large sphere, well, enlarged for this diagram, is the pollen. It’s just pollen, nothing particularly special about it. It’s an alien planet for you, so your system wouldn’t be used to it. It was bound to happen eventually.”

“What’s the little spot moving around on the pollen?”

 _“That,_ Rose Tyler, is what the sonic picked up. This little critter’s hitched a ride into your system. Completely harmless, by the looks of it, aside from causing your intense bout of arousal. These… ehm, ‘love mites’ we’ll call them, apparently feed off the ideal balance of oxytocin and testosterone and dopamine. They work their way into their host’s system and draw out these neurotransmitters, but they can't quite strike it themselves. Which means, unfortunately, I can give you some antihistamines for your pollen allergy and your immune system can fight it off, but the mites won’t leave you alone until you climax.”

“So we should have sex, basically. Which is unfortunate how?”

“I don’t want you to exert yourself while your immune system is working. We could have sex, but you’d still feel miserable.”

“Isn’t that my choice, though?”

“Well…”

“Do you not want me to sneeze on you?”

“I told you it doesn’t bother me.”

“Wait, how comes the love mites got me and not you?”

“I don’t experience hormones the same way. I have them, but the makeup is different. We were having a good time. You were probably experiencing an increased flow of oxytocin and they could detect it. Yes, they brought it on a little strongly, but they wouldn’t have gone for you if you hadn’t already been feeling something. All they're doing is magnifying it.”

She played with his shoelaces. “What does oxy… that do again?”

“It’s a hormone for attachment.”

“Meaning I like you?”

“Yes. And like you said, and as I’ve learned, you’re always down for a good shag. And why not, what with my devilishly handsome face and near constant projection of manly pheromones these days, which is, quite frankly, completely abnormal for a Time Lord. We take a lovely evening picnic on an alien planet with glow-in-the-dark flowers, I make googly eyes at you, and the testosterone just starts flowing—”

“First of all, you sayin’ I’m easy behind all that babbling?”

“You are hardly easy. It’s different when you’re in a relationship. Oxytocin is a helluva drug.”

“Are you babblin’ cos you want me to forget I’m horny?”

“I was hoping. I’d really enjoy this if you weren’t reacting to the pollen.”

“Do you feel guilty, not knowing I’d be allergic?”

Damn, she had him there. “A little.”

“Don’t. I can’t stand it. Go back to that thing you said… not normal for Time Lord.”

He watched her for a moment. How was she able to read him so well?

“Doctor, you wear your heart on your sleeve. Just explain it to me, yeah?”

He really wanted to kiss her then. “They may have tried to breed primal instincts out of us, but that doesn’t mean that part of our brains were gone completely. It explains how some Time Lords can and do fall in love if they find some being to their liking. Me, that part of my brain seems to have been enlarged ever just so, enough for me to find it hard to control. Probably something to do with the circumstances surrounding my regeneration. Here I was, my hearts falling apart because I thought I’d never see you again, and then you materialized the TARDIS and sauntered out a time-wielding goddess. It was entirely… overpowering, if I might not say it so crudely, in spite of the circumstances. And then I kissed you to remove the vortex because I loved you so much in that moment, and—”

“You were born with a raging hard on is what you’re saying.”

“In a matter of speaking, yes. You seem to have unlocked those primal instincts in my last body.”

“Seem to?” She laughed. “Definitely looked like it in the library, and I definitely felt your primal instinct then.”

“And I was with you at the time I regenerated. It’s not a wonder this body was made for you, with you in mind.”

“Yeah?” She smiled sweetly.

He leaned forward, bracing his elbows on the bed, scrubbing his face. “Yes. I constantly feel like a randy teenager around you. There’s a reason my trousers are bigger on the inside.”

Her eyes darted to his crotch. “And sometimes that’s not even enough. You are quite impressive.”

“You smell so good right now. It’s not helping my personal case.”

“If you’ve a need, I can help. Besides,” she said, pulling his tie, “you wouldn’t want me to sit here and suffer, would you?”

“I can’t stand to see you suffer,” he answered, his voice low and rumbling.

“So.” She pecked his lips. “Take me to bed. Because my lady bits are suffering, and I think you’ve got the cure, Doctor.”

He sighed. “I can’t deny you anything, can I? I might have a nasal spray somewhere around here.”

“That’s the spirit.”

He opened a cabinet. “How about that? Right in the front.”

“The TARDIS hates for me to suffer, too.”

“She does.” He held out the spray with a flourish. “For the lady.” He breathed a little easier as it seemed to work immediately. “It’s not a fix, but it will help. Your eyes are still puffy. Not as bad as earlier.”

She swiped at them. “Sorry. I probably look hideous.”

He caught her hand. “Stop. You’re beautiful even with puffy eyes.”

“You think so?”

He scooped her off the bed. “I know so. And as your Doctor, now that you can breathe, I am clearing you for vigorous physical activity.”

“Doctor! I just thought…” She giggled into his neck.

“What?”

“I was having an allergic reaction.”

“Yes?”

“You’re my Epi-penis.”

He laughed. “I think you need an injection, Rose Tyler.”


End file.
